The number of people who've asked us about our twins on this trip is a growing list. Maeve is big. Further convinced, I'm going to try to get her into volleyball a year or two early. But on this trip, what's stood out more is how soft she still is.
I think one of the things we do by mistake, because she's our second, is that we're parenting Nora a certain way, and Maeve is so big we end up expecting more of her than we ever would have of Nora at the same age. For the most part it works. Nora goes off doing something, Maeve plays the same games, and she thrives alongside her sister. The flip side is that she gets more timeouts than Nora ever did. She's quicker to push, quicker to stop listening and walk away. Maybe we're overreading that as ill-disciplined when really it's a three year old who's tired.
The other day she surprised us by insisting on swimming with a tiny floaty in the courtyard pool for over an hour and a half. When she got back, she turned to Jo and asked for a nap. A nap. She hadn't had one in months. But she went upstairs, jumped in the bath, and was asleep within twenty minutes.
She's doing more baby talk than she ever has. Part of that, I think, is her reminding us she's only three. She is still a baby. She still wants to be treated like one sometimes, and that's fair. Kids grow up fast and we're so quick to ask them to grow up faster. After Maeve, there is no more kid. There is no more three year old. We won't do this again, at least not with our own. So maybe sometimes we need to remember we don't have to push her to grow up as fast as we do.
Maeve is funny. Nora is witty, Maeve is funny. She's boisterous. Once she's found an angle that makes you laugh, she'll lean on it until you're crying. That she gets from me. Riding a joke too long.
She's sensitive, though. She wants to follow her sister, wants to play the games she sees Nora thriving in, and sometimes she can't. Sometimes they're a little beyond her. Nora's learning to read. That can make Maeve feel left behind. She still needs to be held sometimes when something has pushed her over the edge and she needs help calming down. She's in this funny window between growing up fast and trying to slow down.
We don't worry about Maeve nearly as much as we did Nora. Similar to me and my brother. Nora is the first to be heard. Her opinions are louder, her thoughts more clearly articulated. Maeve often wants to watch before joining in. One thing I hope we can do is make sure she has the space to also be loud. Once the gap between 5 and 3 becomes 6 and 4, then 7 and 5, it gets meaningfully smaller. They catch up, in a way. In that space, I hope she feels like she can take the lead.
One thing I've been impressed with on this trip is the way Maeve approaches other kids. While Nora sometimes make-believes in her own world, Maeve will jump off the blanket on the sand and go meet someone. She gets upset when they don't come along with her. Like, I made the first move, what's wrong with this kid? Sometimes it's a language barrier. Sometimes it's a maturity barrier. She kind of expects everyone to be like her sister, and maybe that means she expects too much from her peers.
When we look back at this age, when I'm called on to say something at her wedding, or whatever marital joining ceremony they do at that point in time, these were the years. Or maybe three things.
Meat, olives, and pickles.